Yeah, I feel kind of bad that I am letting my blog fall to the wayside. I was thinking maybe I am depressed or something. I feel like my mojo is gone and I don't wanna try very hard to do classes and all this stuff anymore. I have been going through some family stress and dealing with health issues where I am not getting alot of sleep so I am thinking that plus all the heat is just making me blah.
And I am just tired. I am still going through everything that was thrashed from back to back to back classes and sometimes I feel like I am on Clean House, wanting to throw my hands in the air and throw everything away!!! Where is Neicy Nash when I need her?!?! Oh! My front room is all topsy turvy with all of Matthew's room in there since we ripped the carpet out of his room today to put in laminate flooring. I can't seem to recover from one project before I start another and it just makes the mess expand exponentially. I can't keep up so then I get frustrated and want to give up. I know, baby steps, but alot of these projects are boring so then I stop in the middle and do something else and then nothing gets finished. Boring in that I have to go through things and make sure peices are not missing, I have to put stuff away, I have to paper clip kits. Yeah, sometimes that is boring when it gets in the way of creative time or playing with the kids.
Oh, and I didn't make the Cosmo DT. Not real news since I was pretty sure some big name people would be make it and I would not be among them. I go though this strange analysis in my head every time something like this happens. Maybe my stuff isn't good enough…but no, people tell me it is…but then again I tend to make stuff a little simpler because most of it is for a class and there is only so much I can do well in 3 hours…and I don't want to do artsy fartsy projects and pages with one photo that look contrived (like many of the winners of such DT calls seem to create)…but maybe that is how that person really scraps and it is a creative outlet so however they wanna express that is totally fine…plus the pages are darn cute…and if they don't like what I make then it wouldn't work anyways…besides when I am going to make MORE stuff than I already do now?…and shoot, I love the DTs I am on right now so why isn't that “enough”?
So I go through this rejection stuff too, in case anyone was wondering. I think everyone who tries for something and doesn't make it goes through something like this. I guess, for me, it is not so much rejection as just wondering what makes “their” entries more special than mine and how can I get mine there without changing myself or compromising my integrity by making stuff I don't like and won't use? Yeah Yeah Yeah. Same deal with getting published. I was told I must not be getting pubbed because I am not presenting myself right. The stubborn, rebelious part of me says, “well, if they don't like it or can't see the value in it, then pooh on them.” That attitude sure has gotten me far so far! LOL But then again I want to figure out and analyze and discover the magic formula that makes an editor/DT head pick “them” over “me.”
Now I sound like I have too much time on my hands to think about this seemingly insignificant stuff in the scheme of things in this short life we all have.
So I figure when this happens it's always good to remember why I scrap–cuz it is fun and for the memories, not be in some mag or get free goodies as part of a DT, though that would be some pretty sweet icing on the cake if it happened. But oh yeah, I already get some freebies to play with and get to teach for some pretty cool companies…I forgot about that! LOL I love to share on my blog and hope that I inspire someone, someday because the more we share and inspire, the more we can all create! And that is why I blog too–cuz I like the whole sharing aspect of papercrafting!
So the best way to get out of a “slump” like this is to do some pages, maybe try for some challenges. My plan tonight is to watch SYTYCD and then create something. Tomorrow a bunch of friends and I are trekking to Fabric Barn and to LA for some scrappy goodies–what better way to get inspiration than from NEW STUFF! YEAH!!
So until tomorrow (unless I can get my butt in gear with some pics posted tonight) Happy Scrapping!! And congrats to the Cosmo DT finalists–there are some pretty talented chickadees in the group ;) Thanks for listening. I feel better already ;)
Hi Jennifer,
I had to comment on this post. First and most important your work is just as good as good as any of those people who made the CC DT (and I did look at each person’s work)! I am by far not an expert at scrapping or creating but it seems to me that it’s kinda like finding a job, it’s all about who ya know. I constantly see the SAME people getting published or making DT’s. Now I’m not saying they aren’t worthy, but it seems to be people who have some background in graphic design or such. Your work constantly inspires me. Your blog posts are always informative and I guarantee SOMEONE who reads them is getting to learn a tip or technique that he/she has always wondered how to do! (I know this cuz, it is usually ME!) Anyway, don’t feel badly. Us “nobodys” in the scrapbook world don’t want you to get all famous and leave us without inspiration! To us you are the magazine, DT, and psychologist all rolled up in to one! Keep doing what you do girl!
Ditto Jennifer’s comment!
You might want to consider producing something of your own, with the 13, or find a small publisher (i know of one i could put you in touch with) to get the ball rollin’ to become ‘published’ and help you leverage your work into other publications.
Assuming that is what you REALLY want to do. I think it might turn into ‘work’ too much for you though.
Something to test out for yourself maybe.
Good Luck in any case!!
Pam Hoffman
http://seminarlist.blogspot.com
http://twitter.com/PamHoffman
Hey GF! Your work rocks! You know it does. Everyone has a different style, every manufacturer has different styles. Don’t look at your work as not worthy…because it is! Look at it as your style doesn’t “fit” this manufacturer’s needs. Ive been rejected a lot…same thing with the pubs. It’s tough to get your foot in the door. But once you do, don’t give up, don’t get discouraged. But I know what you’re feeling. I’m going through the blahs myself. The class thing is a double edged sword. I LOVE to teach, but I hate the kitting, the paperwork, the negotiations. So….I’m rebelling. I’m cleaning up my scrappy space and creating for me…I’ll use whatever product I WANT, in any way I want, and as much or little as I WANT! Get the picture? Take some ME time, pour a glass of wine, relax and do something creative for YOU. Gauranteed you’ll feel better. And, I’m sending a BIG CYBER HUG your way!!!
awww… your stuff does rock, it’s totally uniquly YOU! I have these same convos in my head sometimes… makes me think I am crazy! Do it cause you love it, cause you like it, and cause we can’t have it all!
*hugs* It’s ok. I love your stuff and anxiously awaiting the next 20 layouts in a day class. :-P Just always remember, you do it because you love it and to preserve your memories.
love you, jen. you always tell it like it in.
xoxoxo
Jennifer if you only knew how many people come through The Table that know you and say so many wonderful things about wyour designs! Seriously just push those “not good enough” thoughts away!!
Jenn,
Honestly pat yourself on the back for putting your self out there…90 % of us are to scared to even try…To scared not to make it…You go that extra mile..Your blog rocks ,your layouts are so creative and sweet…Your teaching skills are beyond..I love your classes…Its okay to feel blahhh..we all do so give yourself permission to relax..you deserve it….I for one feel really gratefull to be your friend…Gloria
Jennifer, Agnes sends you a big hug :)
Oh Jen, we all go through that process after not making the grade for something… but at least we try, and if your wonderful work and creative projects don’t suit what one manufacturer is looking for… it sure will suit another one further down the line…. so keep scrapping and staying true to yourself.