The last two years have meant very different things for me and Hydrangea Hippo. Changes in all kinds of ways and failures and successes and health issues and health improvements and moves and move-ins and working with a design team… well. A lot is different.
At some point I did not want to scrapbook any more. At some point I did not want to make stuff any more. At some point I did not want to blog any more. At some point I did not want to share. It really is a narcissistic kind of thinking to believe that everyone wants to read whatever it is I have to say. I was looking at things all the wrong way.
February through May all I wanted to do was stay home and clean my house, organize, work on unfinished projects, try to get my life in order after months of losing my weekends and month of traveling last year.
I tried to blog through it. I mean, I had lots of stuff to post about and for a few weeks, I rarely posted at all. Thanks goodness DT Coord Nancy Keslin had my back and made sure we looked alive.
I don't think I would call it depression. I don't know what I would call it. A re-set?
After all the teaching and traveling and scrambling and working and lifting and photographing and shipping I think I lost my way. I mean, why do I DO what I DO? And what the heck do I DO, anyways?! Do I still want to sell? Do I still want to teach? What is my business? Why do I have a design team? What does my “career” look like? Why do I hate doing the things I loved to do before? Even filing and doing my books–I used to love knowing where everything was and now I want to make a bonfire out of it all. I want to get a bulldozer and just bury all of it.
And my newsletter….oy vey I have not sent a newsletter in forever–you all must think I have died or something! Moving a blog and not sending a newsletter and not teaching in stores anymore…I did fall off the face of the earth. Yes, I am still on my beloved Facebook and Pinterest and YouTube but if you didn't already know to find me there, well, I was missing. I was lost.
I don't know what this blog and business and company will look like in the coming months or years. I do know there are changes I want to make. There are things I want to do differently. Things I want to add. Things I think will bring more value to YOU. Things I think will help me be a better teacher/mentor/crafter/creator.
With all that I have swirling in my head, I want to know what you would like to see. What do you miss? What do you want to see that is new? What should I ditch altogether?
Why? Because at the end of the day, the reason anyone blogs is YOU. Without YOU, I'd have no blog. It used to be my blog was a way for people to find me and my classes. Then a way for people to find my etsy shop and classes. And now I want to change that focus. I think it is time.